Also very glad that the two year mark has been and gone. I know that it's just a date like any other date in the year, but I still feel relief.
I guess the D papers that H filed (which needed my agreement for the process to continue, and which I just ignored) will start their own journey now that the two year mark has passed. In Scots law a spouse can D another without their agreement after they've been separated for two years.
I decided that I would plough my own furrow and D him at a time of my choosing (which would have been some time after the 2 year mark, as I didn't want to speak to him again). And that's the reason why I didn't answer his text asking if I agreed to a D, or sign the papers he sent.
Anyway, one of the cast told me that all they know about him is that he's now living down south (quite a long way away) with OW and their child. That means that the chances of me bumping into him here aren't really very high, which is a big relief.
I know her parents live down south, in the country, on a farm I think. I'm wondering if they're there? it might be nice for her to have help with the baby. Well, it's not for me to concern myself with.
I actually had a dream about her last night, for the first time ever. In my dream I was curious about her and looking her up online, and she caught me doing it. Funny thing was I didn't feel jealous, or envious, I was just curious about her in a very neutral way. Although I did feel like I had been caught doing something I shouldn't be doing.
Well, I don't feel upset about my dream. I feel like I can just carry on with my day.
All in all, I'm feeling very neutral and even about the past God knows how many years (six? seven?) since the slide into this awful nightmare started. Many, many, many good things have happened in the past couple of years, and I feel that a lot of them are down to my positivity. At times it's been with nothing short of brute force that I've made myself feel grateful and see things positively at times (even just the tiniest thing, like a simple 'hello' and a smile to a shopkeeper when I went to buy some milk), but my goodness, it's paid off.
So clearly, that's the road I should continue down...the one of gratitude and positivity.
Also very glad that the two year mark has been and gone. I know that it's just a date like any other date in the year, but I still feel relief.
I guess the D papers that H filed (which needed my agreement for the process to continue, and which I just ignored) will start their own journey now that the two year mark has passed. In Scots law a spouse can D another without their agreement after they've been separated for two years.
I decided that I would plough my own furrow and D him at a time of my choosing (which would have been some time after the 2 year mark, as I didn't want to speak to him again). And that's the reason why I didn't answer his text asking if I agreed to a D, or sign the papers he sent.
Anyway, one of the cast told me that all they know about him is that he's now living down south (quite a long way away) with OW and their child. That means that the chances of me bumping into him here aren't really very high, which is a big relief.
I know her parents live down south, in the country, on a farm I think. I'm wondering if they're there? it might be nice for her to have help with the baby. Well, it's not for me to concern myself with.
I actually had a dream about her last night, for the first time ever. In my dream I was curious about her and looking her up online, and she caught me doing it. Funny thing was I didn't feel jealous, or envious, I was just curious about her in a very neutral way. Although I did feel like I had been caught doing something I shouldn't be doing.
Well, I don't feel upset about my dream. I feel like I can just carry on with my day.
All in all, I'm feeling very neutral and even about the past God knows how many years (six? seven?) since the slide into this awful nightmare started. Many, many, many good things have happened in the past couple of years, and I feel that a lot of them are down to my positivity. At times it's been with nothing short of brute force that I've made myself feel grateful and see things positively at times (even just the tiniest thing, like a simple 'hello' and a smile to a shopkeeper when I went to buy some milk), but my goodness, it's paid off.
So clearly, that's the road I should continue down...the one of gratitude and positivity.
what a great post.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Also very glad that the two year mark has been and gone. I know that it's just a date like any other date in the year, but I still feel relief.
I guess the D papers that H filed (which needed my agreement for the process to continue, and which I just ignored) will start their own journey now that the two year mark has passed. In Scots law a spouse can D another without their agreement after they've been separated for two years.
I decided that I would plough my own furrow and D him at a time of my choosing (which would have been some time after the 2 year mark, as I didn't want to speak to him again). And that's the reason why I didn't answer his text asking if I agreed to a D, or sign the papers he sent.
Anyway, one of the cast told me that all they know about him is that he's now living down south (quite a long way away) with OW and their child. That means that the chances of me bumping into him here aren't really very high, which is a big relief.
I know her parents live down south, in the country, on a farm I think. I'm wondering if they're there? it might be nice for her to have help with the baby. Well, it's not for me to concern myself with.
I actually had a dream about her last night, for the first time ever. In my dream I was curious about her and looking her up online, and she caught me doing it. Funny thing was I didn't feel jealous, or envious, I was just curious about her in a very neutral way. Although I did feel like I had been caught doing something I shouldn't be doing.
Well, I don't feel upset about my dream. I feel like I can just carry on with my day.
All in all, I'm feeling very neutral and even about the past God knows how many years (six? seven?) since the slide into this awful nightmare started. Many, many, many good things have happened in the past couple of years, and I feel that a lot of them are down to my positivity. At times it's been with nothing short of brute force that I've made myself feel grateful and see things positively at times (even just the tiniest thing, like a simple 'hello' and a smile to a shopkeeper when I went to buy some milk), but my goodness, it's paid off.
So clearly, that's the road I should continue down...the one of gratitude and positivity.
what a great post.
Thank you!
And in classic fashion, not long after you replied (was it the day after maybe?) STB X MIL and FIL turned up to my work, with their other son, his wife and their 4 children.
Granted, they probably didn't know that I would be there, so it's not like they were **expecting** to see me.
Anyway, I spotted STB X FIL first, well before he (or any of the others) saw me, so I had plenty time to gather my thoughts and compose myself.
When they came through the door I made sure that I was heading in the opposite direction from them. Nonetheless, STB X MIL came up behind me, tapped me on the shoulder, and said 'I'm just saying hello'. I said hello back. None of the others looked in my direction or caught my eye, or said anything to me (which suited me just fine, tbh).
It was easy to avoid them the rest of the evening.
At the very end, they were the last to leave. I had the tiniest feeling that they were hanging back because STB X MIL wanted to speak to me again.
Couple of days later, STBXH's uncle tuned up with his son. Harder to avoid him as he also works in the industry, so I was reasonably chatty.
And that was that. My contract there for this job is finished and I can send my last invoice. I'm proud of the work I've done for this.
I am **exhausted**. My whole body is aching, I almost have the shakes and feel sick from the effort I've put in, and I know that I've been clenching my teeth hard at night (even with my mouth guard) because I can feel that my back teeth have been under a lot of pressure when I wake up and take my mouth guard out again.
Some time to myself next to recentre in on myself.
Do you add anything onto it before/after you grill it?
focus22,
I remove the skin (some people leave the skin on) and I shake some Old Bay seasoning on both sides of the filet. I grill it on each side while the lid is on my charcoal grill (that gives it a smokey flavor and prevents flare-ups that will burn the salmon). In the meantime, I melt some butter and add a little Old Bay seasoning and a little teriyaki sauce to the butter. Then, just before the salmon is fully cooked, I brush the butter mixture on each side of the filet and finish cooking the salmon.
My XW will tell you that my salmon is very good; that's an endorsement that you can't ignore.
I taught my youngest son how to grill salmon and now he grills salmon when he's at mommy's house because she's not a very good cook.
I'm feeling a bit stressed, tired and overwhelmed at the moment.
November was supposed to be a quiet month for me, work wise, before what I know will be a super busy December. But I've ended up with a lot of work. Which is great in one sense: it's fantastic to be in demand
I'm trying to keep my running, and am very slowly improving. It's interesting...you could go at it with a whole range of mindsets: aim to be the best, or the best in your specific field, or the best you can be, or better than you were yesterday, or just enjoying it for what it is on that particular day/in that particular moment.
I find myself floating through many different mental (as well as physical) states with it. In my past life I have been super competitive against myself with whatever I've been doing, pushing myself to the absolute limits of what I was capable of, and then a bit further...a perfectionist kind of mindset.
Now...I don't know. Maybe not quite so much. I mean, I know I still have that streak in me, it's just, I think I might be noticing the scenery a bit more now? I don't know. It definitely feels like something has changed, and perhaps for the better. I feel like it's easier to live with myself now.
Some nice news: I was out with the very handsome man on Friday. We went for a late lunch/pizza before I went to work on Friday evening. Walking up the road we bumped into one of my colleagues (one that also works with STBXH and knows a good deal of what went on). Anyway, I introduced them and we all said a quick hello, and she said I look more and more like a goddess...lol!
Then I met someone that I haven't seen since a while before the split, and she said she thought I looked 20 years younger and very fit.
I really love what I have with the very handsome man. He's lit something within me and is intriguing my soul in a very profound way. I am curious about the differences between us, and the things he is teaching me about himself and myself.
He has a very sensual (as in, of the senses) way of perceiving the world. He has a very instinctive feeling for beauty and appreciation of it. Of nature, for sure, but also in smaller things like the way he dresses (without being a dandy or a peacock, as STBXH was).
He has a creative soul, for definite, but it's tempered with a huge amount of good sense and practicality. I'm not sure what his XW saw of his creative, imaginative side and I don't think that she nurtured it much in him. I get the sense that she liked to be calling the shots and to be in control. But I like that someone is free to explore different parts of their being and actually encouraged to do so.
For Christmas I would like to make up a hardback book of a small selection of some of the many thousands of photographs he has taken over the years. He is a totally instinctive and incredibly talented landscape photographer. I've told him this and he says it's just luck, but luck would be the odd good shot here and there. He's taken hundreds and hundreds of stunning images that are incredibly atmospheric. I think seeing some of them, beautifully presented, will give him an incredible sense of achievement and pride in his talent.
Anyway, we'll see what the next few weeks brings...
