Reading along and nodding my head at what has been said. As far as contact I think you know what is good for you, and what seems appropriate. I would wager she emails you from work as you have already figured out her pattern, guessing OM is sensing a shift in her and possibly has been snooping a bit ... just a hunch there to explain her predictible hours of interaction with you.
Another thing that has jumped at me is the 'couple' counseling .. once you firmly shot that down she 180'd and then went mini monster and started projecting. The experience I had, along with a few MLCrs of the female variety is what was labeled as "Branch Swinging" where they will test the waters and ensure they can swing from the OM tree back to the LBS or vice versa, its like they need to have a safe place to land because heaven forbid they are alone and dealing with the issues that have caused the crisis. So that said as I was reading along I was waiting for her to lash out because in a way you telling her no couple counsleing was a form of rejection .... hence why she brought up all those things and mentioned your GF knowing that you have moved from where she left you and they do not like that. Mine has recently accused me of 'brandishing all the women I have been dating in her face and rubbing it in' .... like yours its false and more projection on her part as I am not currently seeing anyone.
As far as advice, I think you are doing well ... I would guess her next contact will be a bit softer as by now she must realize the hard approach will not get her closer to her girls and she can only blame you so much knowing this was the life she chose .. not you .. and certainly not the girls.
