The last couple of weeks have been real good for me, reading about my nice guy tendencies and learning more about myself continues to be what is changing ME! My approach with everything I do is ever changing now and I notice the difference with how people interact with me, my kids are taken back a little as I am starting to set some boundaries that they are not accustomed to. W is starting to see this as well, she is definitely not used to hearing NO from me. Gotta stay strong, learning how to break from this "syndrome" will take some time.
D11 and S13 are starting to notice W's lack of care or involvement with what they are doing, they both come to me all the time now because wife is MIA somewhere as she doesn't inform them where she is going or what she is doing, this is way out of the normal for her. She continually puts herself first missing out on our kids activities and missed doctors appointments. I will need to keep a better eye on the this!
Now on to S17, I ended up having a talk with the coaches on his high school sports team before the team tryouts, he is one of the best players on the team but was removed from the team over the summer as he had a verbal exchange with the coach during a game. I informed the coaches that S17 intersected a text between wife and I about divorce months before we told the kids, the coaches showed some compassion and thankfully are giving him a second chance and my S was asked back!
Now the problem, I noticed he drank some of my bourbon that I had in the house, I confronted him and he told me the truth. He said he had a rough week with school and the tryouts and he felt stressed! I told him I understood how his week could have been stressful for him but drinking alcohol is not a good reason to relieve stress, I let him know that if he is having a rough time to come talk to me before he even thinks of drinking something. I will try this approach as sending him to a therapist may give him the thought that I don't want to deal with his issues( this is what W is doing with D11 and S13), that may be the wrong approach but I need to be there for my kids. If it doesn't work I will seek a therapist for him.
