Patient: Doctor - it hurts when I lift my arm like this. Doctor: Well stop doing that then.
(pause for laughter / groans)
There are things you are doing to yourself that are causing you pain. Watching her social media for example. It's easy for me to say "stop doing that" because it took me a long time - and a lot of pain - to stop. Part of what helped me with that because I felt that I "needed to keep an eye on her" was to have a trusted friend stay connected.
We talk here about "dropping the rope" which sounds simple but is hard. For me, I thought of it more as "disentangling". Each of the countless threads that bound me to her were removed. One by one. Removing them sometimes left me feeling lost and confused. Sometimes it hurt to remove them.
So if you can't do it all at once, try it one step at a time.
For the kids there are tools you can use to organize the pick-up / drop off and contact that will minimize interactions.
From my understanding you are still hoping for a reconciliation so much of what I've just said would be counter-intuitive. But it will help you heal. A healed, happy, confident Huddy can set his own path and may be someone that she would be attracted to again. The lost, tired and confused Huddy isn't doing his best for himself or his family.
Just my 2 cents.
Oh - and "Hi Mrs Huddy!"
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
