How a treehouse can cost you your marriage

[Clyde]

At that point I had it and wrote the lady off, I told my W my feelings about it and she seemed to understand my point of view.

Beyond what was happening at that moment my W had confided in me that when she was a kid it really hurt her when nana would pick up BIL from whatever chaotic situation they were living in and take him to disneyland, or to spend the weekend at her house etc, leaving my W behind, Christmas was always a different experience for the BIL as she spoiled him and so forth.

It did not take me long to realize that of the some 100+ pictures on nana's walls not a single one was of my W.

I think you get the picture, as a protective H, seeing the pain my W was enduring from this her R w/nana, I was over it.

My W quickly got over the hurt of the b-day incident, and tried to resume their outings as often as possible.

When the economy crashed in '08-'09 we were on a severe budget, house went into foreclosure, I had a client default on a $60K project, there was zero work in the construction industry. We were on the top ramon diet, times were rough (ironically I remember thinking during this time... if the W is ever going to leave me now would be the time!)

Part of this budgeting included gas, nana lived 30 miles away... W seemed to be on the same page as me as far as that being an expense we could cut down on, beyond that we talked how nana could come our way once in a while.

So after BD, the wife now sees it as me being controlling and keeping her from seeing her nana... she has brought this up many times. The W also seems to forget the condition of her house and why we stopped taking our D there.

The irony is she was telling me she did not have gas money the other day, maybe this will help her understand my position. (The whole gas/budget scenario has also been levied against me regarding other family members of hers who have never been to our house... I'll touch on that in another post though)

So back to my initial thought, maybe nana passing triggered the W into MLC, when she has brought up her nana as her reasons for resenting me, I have felt/wondered if this scenario carried more weight than I thought, reading wink's post a light bulb went off.