Hi Huddy, im going to offer some 4 x 2s here brother, move forward with your life. The woman you knew is gone and she may or not come back. You control you and only you. Stop snopping because you will not like what you find. She has made a choice to live her life without you as her partner and that her choice.
What do you really want for you ? You can wait to see if she comes back or move forward. Moving forward offers you a life for you.
It took me a long time to move forward and i can honestly say im in a better place. Once I decided i was worth more than who exw had become. I know you loved your W but do you love her now or the memory of sho she was.
You get one life , live it and enjoy it. And the big thing to remember is you control you , if you want the marriage to define the rest of youf life then you decide that , no one else.
