Looking for help from a Female MLC'er

[AndrewP]

I'm not a member of the gentler sex but thought I might chime in on your new thread.

I've reached a crossroads, and I'm looking for an insight in to a Female/Woman/Lady/Girl who has been through MLC, come out the other side, and survived to give me some vital clues.

From the reading I have done, there are two main paths out of the dark woods of MLC. The main one is where they find a new life and leave the old one behind. Another, far less used is where they wander home. If you check in the MLC reading there are posts by AmyC that show about one woman who followed the path less used. That path though requires massive patience and humility from both the WS and LBS. Most people are not strong enough for that. Knowing her as you do, do you think that she possesses that sort of strength?

From what I can see, she takes daily pictures of herself at all hours of the day and night.

It's all about her and the superficial. You don't exist in that world.

I can't keep going on. I miss the intimacy of being with another woman, and I get lonely. I do have a life of sorts - I went for a weekend away last week, had a great time and got merrily drunk, but when it comes to 'dating', I can't seal the deal. I put a profile up, and within minutes I take it down. I even went on one of those awful fuckbuddy type sites, but couldn't even se that one through.

Even though I well know that feeling of emptiness and need there is no need to rush. I have similar issues and have also checked out online dating and also quickly took my profile down and have decided that it is best for all concerned to be as healthy as I can be and to not rush into anything. You're not getting left behind. This isn't a race and we aren't all walking the same path.

I can forgive anything (even though the thoughts of my W being with another man makes me sick to the pit of my stomach), but it's pointless waiting if there is nothing to wait for.

This is a tough question. One of the people who helped me on my journey - it was either Jack or Eric told me once that I needed to make my choice each and every day and that when I was done that if I chose to be done waiting that was good. I'd suggest you may want to think of a similar attitude. Don't think out too far. Try to not overthink. If and when you decide you are done, you'll know it in your bones. First and foremost though. This is about you and your children. The boobs and teeth that you refer to as Mrs Huddy are beyond your control to influence.