Detach. Protect yourself. And your kids. Work on being the best you that you can be. The rest you don't have control over.
Your wife had a seriously messed up childhood. Sadly it's not an uncommon thing to see here, where the WAS reverts to repeat or reconstruct the dysfunction from their childhood.
In your wife's case, do you think it's possible she's recreating the drug addictions of her family of origin? Frankly, it's either that, or she's having affairs.
This could take a long time. I suggest you read Irish's thread on the Midlife Crisis section of this forum. His wife reminds me a bit of yours, and he's had to deal with his teenage daughters and their anger at their mom. It's been over two years; I think you might gain a lot of wisdom reading his thread.
You did a good job setting a boundary on the car insurance. Does she have an order for temporary support? Has your lawyer given you a good idea of what your finances would be like after a divorce? Reality is going to settle in quickly for your wife, sometimes it's wise to settle the financial issues quickly before she realizes it's not going to be as easy to get by as she thinks. She's already shown that she's capable of some pretty dastardly things to get her way. Settling things before she decides she can't live on a fair settlement and starts figuring out how to screw you over financially can be a wise move.
