Gordie: MLC W with a BF...negotiating our D #12

[SBJ]

SBJ wrote that he is trying to find himself post d (while rooting for the Astros). Did we all lose ourselves in m? Did I lose myself?

Gordie, I know that the craziness is overwhelming at times. Please use that time to immerse yourself into the word. All the answers to our troubles are there if we simply ask God to show us the answers.

Your W...she may look like the same person you have known and been married to for 20+ years, but she is not. She is just the shell of the woman you married and love. She is not doing this because of anything you did or have done in the past. She has come to a point and is unhappy with herself. She thinks that there might be something out there that can fix that. She will be wrong for sure.

The fact that your w has put her and the OM's picture on your computers screensaver surely shows you that she is not in her right mind. I pray that she crosses paths with sanity for you brother, but for now you can only take care of yourself and your wonderful kids. It is up to you to be the strongest dad you can be for them. We love our kids more than life itself and now it is time for us to show it.

Your Mother...WOW. I'm not sire if you posted before on your relationship with your mother, but that is crazy. Usually the parent sticks with their child no matter what. If you think you need to for support purposes, you can sit her down and explain what is really happening. If not, sometimes ignorance is bliss.

Finding ourselves...I think what I have learned is that what I had done over the last 26+ years was to suppress my needs and desires to focus on what I thought my w needed or what my kids needed. I would do some things that I still enjoyed doing, but my life was centered around them completely.

On the flip side, I realized that in that same amount of time I never really tried to get my w involved in those things that I did to get away from it all...hunting, fishing, golf, camping, etc. I did those things either by myself, or with my brothers/friends. While she really did not express any interest in doing those things with me...I can't help but wonder how much fun we'd have had. Oh well, we can't ponder on the should haves. We should only focus on what is in front of us.

Become the man that you know God designed you to be. That sounds like a tall order, but you are fearfully and wonderfully made...it says so in Psalm 138:14 after all.

And by the way...the Astro's rocked it last night!

Peace be with you brother!