LJ....my W moved out almost 5 months ago. I have not touched her for over 6, probably the last time we had sex. Stop the touching, kissing, hugs, hand holding, etc. She wants nothing to with you. I am sorry to be so blunt but it's the truth. You have to let her go completely. Since you have moved out you should never initiate contact and if you do it should only be about your kids or finances. I never reached out to my W unless it is critical and I don't look for excuses to do so.
Truthfully you should hold on to nothing. You are technically divorced without the paperwork.
My kids are 8 and 6..I was worried about the same. They will feed off of you so must so them a happy, confident dad. They will be fine if you handle yourself and your sitch in the appropriate manner. I never want my girls to feel awkward when my W and I are with each other. I have had to swallow my emotions and have really lost myself in my IC and the gym. Work on you self-confidence, hit the gym, lift a ton of weightsit does wonders for you mentally. You get that testerone flowing and it kills the blues.
I am sorry you lost your brother. I would strongly recommend you tell your mom to stay out for your sitch and not have her give your W a hard time if she sees her. My mom wanted to send my W an email and I told her to not contact her. I told her if we get divorced and after it is finalized if she wanted to when it was all said in done then we would talk about it. Your W should not feel any pressure from you or anyone in your family.
How can you GAL? Focus on yourself and stop worrying about your W. She currently wants nothing for you. If you give her time, space and distance....focus on yourself and be the best LJ you can be that could change over time.
Hang in there! I am almost 6 months in and it gets better! You have to let go.
