Own, I understand I shouldn't contact my L over every little issue. I needed to respond to an email re. my financials, so I decided to tack that on and mostly just to ask what I am legally allowed to do. Unfortunately, I am not able to change the locks. I asked. Yes, I'm not that far down but because I have very limited contact, it seems that has pushed me further along. I don't initiate any contact. This is the first time, since the week he left that I've contacted him. I don't plan on contacting him again, but I'm at a loss on what I do about the sale of our house. I or my RE agent will need to contact him in order to list. Using L to do this, is a waste of more $. I am not ready to push the D forward. At this time, it needs to be all him. I also only told him about serving me because my L said I should, but I will not do that again. I get what you're saying and am completely (relatively speaking) happy to not contact him.
job, L suggested I also video all of the rooms. I know he's taken other things but haven't said much until now w/ the lights & some thing that belonged to my mom. The other items ticked me off, but I let them go. Again, he will not hear from me on this matter, until it's brought up by my L.
AndrewP, I contemplated security cameras initially and it was really more so because I am a single woman, living in a new house, new community. I didn't end up doing that, but will think again about that, depending on how long I keep the house. It's just extremely frustrating that he comes and goes as he pleases. Now the neighbors are starting to wonder what's going on because 1. we're new to the community and 2. it's probably obvious H is no longer there. Two have come over when my father was there and were fishing. One told him that H had been to the house at midnight and was in a new truck. I have no idea what he took that time because the TV was removed on Monday. I get it, MLC, but what does he think he's doing?!
What I want out of the end game, yes, is fairness. H has gone on and on about wanting this to be civil and amicable. He's done nothing of the sort. I feel like he made these choices and now I'm made to "suffer" the consequences. In a perfect world, we would split things fairly, but I would like 1st say on some of these things. I feel like that's only right, but that's only my opinion. If I chuck the fairness, I want my sanity and some financial stability. I'm willing to let some things go in order to achieve that, but not all. He believes if he paid for it, it's his and that includes his pension, retirement accounts. That will be my biggest fight. I've been told I'm ineligible for almost 1/2 of our down payment. It was a gift from his father & the gift letter only had his name on it. Anything I get after that wouldn't even cover all of the my 401K withdrawl for home improvements. IF we make anything extra, it will be due to the improvements, but that's a big if.
It hit me like a ton of bricks yesterday. The reality of my situation vs. his, is humbling/ego bruising, to put it mildly. I am staying in a room at my parents house on a twin bed, living out of bags, on the verge of selling my house while I'm alone. He, on the other hand, is in a new condo with a new person, life and possibly car. Four months ago, I never would have thought my life would be here. It's a lot to digest.
I see what you're saying though and need to think again about the small stuff and prioritize. Assets that will give me long-term stability will be my big battle and where my energy should go.
I need to refocus and keep the crazy to a minimum. job, as you suggested, I will continue to use the boards to vent. Thank you to you all for giving me a shake and helping me clear the fog a bit. To a better day...
M:43 H:44 M:10 T:14 S:26 BD:7/21/17 H files for D:7/31/17 (haven't been served) PA:8/30/17
