Awkward Situation Got Much Worse (part 3)

[Holding]

To others saying I need to get a spine and get my balls back, what exact actions would you take?

It's difficult to say exactly. In the end, you need to be able to look yourself in the mirror and say "I did everything I could, and I wasn't a pushover." Basically, you want to minimize your regrets from this point forward. Be confident in yourself. It's a journey that starts with small steps.

...and fear of the unknown if we separate/divorce.

Yep. That's a huge fear. Face it. Don't think of it as defeat or failure. Because you can do everything right, and your W might still want to D, and there's nothing you can do to stop her.

Start planning your life alone, just you and your kids. Tough question: Why do you want to save this M?