MLC or WAS... either way, I'm here

[AndrewP]

I thought I would just chime in here even though my situation is a bit different. The legislation about what you can and cannot do is different given where you live.

My lawyer - after giving me a very broad wink - told me that I cannot deny my STBX access to the marital home by changing the locks. I chose to not change the locks but what I did do was to install a security system made up of old cell phones (Android IP Webcam tied to the free Russian IVideon service). I then sent her a note telling her about the cameras. You could just send a note that you "may" be putting a security system in. That should reduce the unannounced visits.

What was a big concern for me after talking to divorced friends was keeping the whole process as simple and as cheap as reasonably possible. One phrase that I used that my lawyer quite liked was "arguing about nickels in the couch cushions". Quite often the items in question are worth less than the legal fees to talk about like the TV currently in question. When my STBX and her brother stripped the house back in July 2016 a lot of things left that I still miss. I chose to not make a fuss about them and my blood pressure and bank account are the better for it.

LAJar - I'd like you to give some hard thought to what you want out of the end-game. If you want "fairness" - that's going to cost you in legal fees, pain and drama. Some people go this path. I did a post on my thread a couple of months ago I think talking about anger and how I was working on the attitude that she wasn't worth my anger and didn't deserve it. I've largely let it go. From many points of view I didn't get "fair" - a four letter word beginning with F. But I did get peace and a path forward.

In the end I got a pretty good settlement. The last meeting went smoothly by me suggesting and the other side agreeing to round numbers for a lot of valuations. We decided for example that the value of property left behind was roughly equivalent to what she took without bothering to do an actual inventory of the property involved.

Now in my case too, I'm the higher wage earner and knew that no matter what that I was going to get hosed. I chose the path of least pain to get her gone.

Just some things to think about.