TBH, it sounded like the dude no longer wanted her at the end.
It happens. To this day I would personally love to have my old W back. But here's the thing- the person my XW is now and has been for the last 5 years is not the sweet, loving woman I was married to. I'm not saying she's mean or cold or anything, she's just a completely different person. I hardly know the "new" person and certainly don't want to be married to her. My old W died during that transition during and after BD. She's gone and (I believe) never coming back. My confusion after BD was in thinking she was still in there somewhere and if I just did or said the right things then she would come back out again.
I would also love to have my family life back again. But that too is gone for good. Two of my three kids are grown and moved out now, and the 3rd is a high schooler and has become quite independent. I'm no longer the "family man" I was for so long. I loved being a family man! But life rolls ever-onward and our roles and responsibilities change whether we like it or not.
This is the hard truth of DB'ing- most LBS's long for a W and M that is gone and will never return. The question is do you want a new R with that changed person? For many the answer is "no". But it takes months or even years to figure that out.
