WW in EA, NC w/OM(?), W's BFF interfering, part 7

[25yearsmlc]

saying "the affair has got to end" is fine.

At all costs? In any manner?

Then what?


Heres the thing - the one time I seriously considered & was sorely tempted to have an affair,

- I wobbled and teetered, and then I imagined h and the kids being hurt...So I sought IC with a chaplain, talked to my dad & sisters, and within a few months of avoiding the potential OM, I worked it out and did not end up in an A. But my gosh, I was so lonely in the m and so attracted to OM and

so in need of the attention HE gave me when my h was pretty much physically absent or home & exhausted by his unilateral work choices...

if H had found out I was tempted and seeking IC to resolve this on my own

and exposed me to anyone, I'd have deeply resented the he11 out of him.

And I would have felt cornered, as if he was punishing ME for reacting to the solitude of our marital bed, caused by HIS career choice. I was lonely for a reason. And it was HIS behavior creating that. My loneliness was a direct result of his choices.

I'm pretty sure I'd have filed for divorce.

I had justified the affair. So any attempt to shame me to "end the A - at all costs!!" would have failed miserably,

whereas effort from h to assuage my loneliness, would have touched me deeply.


just fyi