exposing the affair to 3rd parties (not talking about confronting your own spouse)
is not in alignment with MWD's approach. You can disagree of course, but it's not a DB policy.
Also, FTR, much as I understand it (and I DO) I've never seen it help with a recon at all. I have heard of it shaming a wife home, once. I've seen it backfire in about a 10 to 1 ratio.
It looks (and usually is) vindictive, the desire to hurt the spouse or AP.
It's not aimed at helping to reconcile if the LBS thinks it out. And it Often pits the AP and WAS together in an "us against the world" posture and makes the LBS the perfect "vindictive bitter" target of derision. Even if the A fails, the WS usually blames the LBS for ruining their happiness.
And the WAS flees faster and farther. Shaming someone home does not lead to a restored m, imo. Just leads to more problems.
as for telling the AP's spouse, I can see why, of course. Sometimes the spouse does not want to know and sometimes they already know, and are struggling mightily to work through it
and don't need or want another person putting it in their face. And sometimes they would like to know. But don't. Maybe you can figure out discreetly, whether they know. But man, I would think long & hard about what YOUR goal is...
And Ask yourself why MWD opposes it, read up on that, and then see how you feel.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
