WW in EA, NC w/OM(?), W's BFF interfering, part 7

[hoosjim]

(and I am of course powerless with this workplace sitch)

CW--

I have to admit that I am not fully up to speed on the details of your sitch, BUT... just looking at your post, your most recent thread, and what you post as your profile, I keep saying to myself: "Wow, you are not powerless at all... you have power in this sitch that i would almost have killed for". I mean, seriously? Your wife's supervisor? And he's married? Talk about leverage! I mean, I know opinions on "exposure" of affairs varies on this forum, but most of that variance has to do with not publicly outing the WW and making her road home more difficult. In this case, it seems to me, there is no need to even threaten your W. The OM seems to have everything to lose here. Why not use that?

I am well aware that ending the A with an OM does NOT in any way gaurantee that a LBS will be able to reconcile with a WW, BUT... such a reconciliation will DEFINITELY not happen as long as the A continues. In other words, bringing the A to and end is a necessary condition precedent to any reconcilliation.

If the OM in MY sitch had been married, I would have exposed him every day of the week and twice on Sunday. Now, ironically, I am coming to the realization that the path the good Lord has taken me down is, perhaps, the only one that might result in reconcilliation between me and my wife. Had I been able to "force" an end to the A way back in the days immediately following BD, I am not sure that my W would have wanted anything to do with me... we weren't even really "friends" at that point. The intervening months, while difficult and painful, especially the ones where she was actively engaged with OM, also gave her time to see my changes, my GALs, my 180s, and to start to believe in them, and, subsequently, for us to rebuild a closer, warmer relationship... without which I might not currently have any shot of reconciling.

Nonetheless, if I had it to do over again, and could take a stronger stand against the A, and hopefully end it right out of the box, would I do so? I have to say probably. And that is kind of weird answer to me because i really do love my wife and really do want to fully reconcile with her.

But i am a firm believer that the A has GOT TO end, and the sooner the better, and that men who pursue married women are some of the lowest form of scum on the earth. (Don't even ask me what I think about men who pursue their FRIENDs' wives-- which was my sitch...)