Moving out is a bad idea. This is my opinion only, but those kids need the smoothest transition you can give them. She isn't going to help you with this. She is incapable. This means you will have to find ways to distance yourself from your "room-mate" / co-parent. Is the house big enough for you to create your own space within it? Can you create your own man cave?
I think it would be good to have a place to get away to maybe once in a while - can you stay at a friend's or just go rent a hotel to get some space once a month or something like that?
You're looking for the new normal and thats going to take a while to find.
How are the kids? It came in waves for my son.
I wil refrain from commenting on my opinion of how Princess Loontoonia chose to share this news with the children.
Do the littlest ones know now?
And I am curious, were any of the children unsurprised by this?
If I have one major lasting regret it's that I didnt tell exh that I would fight his divorce tooth and nail and grind him into the dust in court unless he agreed to bring our son to therapy with me. Im not sure it would have worked but our child would have benefitted from going. exh wouldn't agree and I couldn't get son there without his help. I also didn't want to give exh the fight he so desperately seemed to want to re-create. But that, that was the one thing I wish we'd done, as it may have benefitted our son greatly.
so, talk to the guidance counselors at school. let them know the kids will need extra support. find a family therapist. you'll need the help. she's off riding Aladdin's magic carpet, no help from Princess Loontoonia.
Nice screen saver.
Geez.
You may want to set some ground rules while you're sharing space. Take some time to think about what your deal breakers are. Approach it when you're ready and spin it as "we are co-parents, we both want what's best for the kids, we both need to move on with our lives, but need to be respectful that this house was our family home and is the kids' home."
I would think you may want to say "I will not be bringing in overnight guests while we live here and I expect the same level of respect from you."
or some such thing. I would phrase it in a way to make her curious about what you're doing. She seems to think she can do whatever and you will continue to be the rock you've always been. I think that needs to be challenged. I may be wrong - you may want to check to see if your coach agrees.
She continues to leave me shaking my head in disbelief.
You are doing so much better than you think.
I believe that in the fullness of time you will come to believe that she's done you a favor. I didn't believe I'd ever feel that way, but I do now. I suspect you might in time also.
xoxoxo {{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
