I've always been fascinated with psychology so the above is not so much specific to my sitch but my general curiosity about the human mind.
That combined with an Engineering mind adds to my constant analysis of human interactions.
If you figure out the human mind then you'll have a best-seller on your hands
Originally Posted By: Raysd6
Me: I feel it was irresponsible of you to have been drinking all day to the point where you couldn't drive home tonight to be with your daughters WW: I'm just tired...heading home now WW: There you go judging me WW: This is why we will not be together WW: All I wanted was your support and you turn this back on me
Predictable response, right? So why go there. Here's the deal though- she did the responsible thing. The irresponsible thing would have been to drive drunk.
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So throughout the week WW was firm on starting the D process. I told her "do what you feel you need to do, just let me know where I need to be and what time". I did pursue and ask her if she's sure this is what she wants to do. I also let her know that I won't stand in her way but I will only do what is asked of me no more, no less e.g. I will not expedite the divorce process.
That sounds good.
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In MC later that day, WW went from "I don't know if we can reconcile" in the beginning to "If we divorce..." towards the end.
I wouldn't read anything into that. WAS's like to make it sound like they're leaving the door open to "lessen the blow" to the LBS.
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WW also noticed my changes(GAL activities) and said that in the past my changes have been temporary and that I only improve myself when we separate.
That's script. Just keep doing it for you and don't expect any appreciation from her for it.
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WW: Divorce is not my first choice Me: Ok
Later that day:
WW: I canceled tomorrow (the Mediation appointment) Me: Ok
Good responses.
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WW: I wish we had the love Jack and Jill have Me: I feel we can have that same love
Fail. LOL! She was temperature checking you, and you let her know you are still happily hanging on as Plan B. Just a brief validation like "I understand" would be better.
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Before I went to sleep I sent a pursuing text:
Me: "The art of love is...largely the art of persistence" WW: I don’t know what the right thing to do is
Well you're right, it's pursuing. Pursuit is pressure and she doesn't want pressure. Believe me, nothing you do or say right now is going to help turn her around, but you can do and say a LOT that will hurt. Try to remember that.
