And I was just having this discussion with some male and female friends. This happens a lot with the lack of sharing information. My W biggest issue was how she thought I would react. Now I could understand if I did things that would make her think I would react a certain way. But she couldn't give an example on any behavior from me that would make her think that way.
Yeah, I can relate to that. My XW said something very similar- that she was "afraid" to tell me things because of how I would react. However, whenever she did get around to telling me I usually reacted calmly and sat down with her to figure out what to do. Nevertheless, her "fear" was real even if completely unjustified. Honestly I think a lot of this kind of stuff we have to chalk up to "learn to do better and move onward" because we can't fix 10 or 20 or 30 years of our W's thinking like that. All we can do is educate ourselves through reading, and try to do better in the future, whether with her or someone else.
I'm not defending your W by any means, I mean anyone who commits to someone for life and then has an affair has crap morals and questionable integrity in my opinion. All of this introspection we do, it's not because we were terrible and our wives were perfect. It's because it's all we can do. We can only work on ourselves.
