Talking with my C about the best way to have this conversation with D. We're going to follow up next week. I want to ask XW for some support here, but I also don't want to. I think she is the one who told D, so what kind of support would I get? I talked to her about it briefly (that D said something) and her reaction was... off. She said the right things ("saying that would be like someone saying I wasn't her mother") but her tone of voice was entirely indifferent, and there was no empathy at all. I don't have anything more than a feeling on this, and maybe I just don't have enough trust left in me to believe anything that comes out of her mouth anymore. D didn't want to tell me who said that, and I didn't (and won't) push her, so I guess I won't really know, and I'm on my own here.
Mediation is 1st week of December. I'm nervous about it. As of this weekend, D actually has a bedroom and furniture at her mom's house. I still feel like XW is just putting her house in order for the custody fight, but it's still good for D. I hope it lasts. I am pretty sure OM paid for it. Doesn't matter, just a curiosity, but at least it implies that he treats D well after all, which can't help but be a good thing.
XW brings OM to custody exchanges now.
Milestone: I'm officially down 100lbs.
Had an amazing weekend with GF. She's a UK fan, so we drove to Lexington and watched the game. We had great seats, and both dressed for the game (me in orange, her in blue). Got a lot of good natured comments from people about that. I lost the bet. I get to show up in my office on Friday wearing a UK hoodie, ball cap, and a tag that says, "Yes, I did lose a bet." At least Butch will probably get fired.
After pickup yesterday, I brought D to see her great grandmother (XW's dad's mom) and then to see her grandfather and grandmother (XW's dad and his wife). XW doesn't ever bring D to see any of them, I'm trying to do it once every month or two. Dad said he saw my pictures on facebook, and asked me if GF was "treating me right." I said yes, and he said that he was happy I was happy, that I deserved it, and that I would always be family. I felt like crying. I don't have family anywhere near here. Holidays are going to be hard. I can't travel with D because of how the current custody plan is. Felt like crying because it means I didn't lose EVERYONE.
He's told me before that he looks at me and what I'm going through, and sees himself from the past (with XMIL playing the part of XW, and XW playing the part of D). I look at him and see that his life has turned out pretty well. That gives me hope, and I hope I'm where he is in 15-20 years.
Biggest source of stress in my life right now is that I live two of them. GF still hasn't met D, though both of them are interested in meeting each other. They may meet in the next month or so, and then we can try to slowly increase that. I hope it goes well.
