If you don't monitor, will you wonder? And if you do wonder, will that nagging doubt be reflected in your behavior?
With benefit of hindsight? Yes, and yes. Or at least "yes" when things don't go according to plan or she is "late" or the like.
Not nearly as bad as before, but she was late getting back after "checking in" from deli where she stopped to pick us all up some sandwiches. And my mind did start spinning. S17 got antsy/hungry and started asking "where's mom" so I did call. I even considered driving over to deli at one point. Glad I didn't.
I'm way better than I was-- as I posted above, I no longer feel like I am constantly swimming in a sea of adrenaline. However, quite honestly I don't know if I will ever get completely past the situational doubt/suspicion in such unless/until we are either fully reconciled or fully separated/divorced.
H53/W51, R-ing 4/'18
"Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires"-Sg.of Sg 2:7
"So oftentimes it happens,that we live our lives in chains, & we never even know we have the key"-Eagles III 1:3
