Fighting my way out of the dark Part 5

[Holding]

I want to make sure I have this right. You are both living under the same roof. You have divided monthly expenses? Why is she mailing off the CC payments, if they affect your credit score?

That's correct. She pays certain bills, and I pay others (especially the mortgage). This kind of mutually assured destruction has worked so far. The only way to really protect myself completely is for me to pay all bills and have her reimburse me. But I don't really want to be dependent on her paying me back. She's unreliable. If this goes on much longer, I might see about an alternate arrangement. I'm open to suggestions.

This has been talked to death, has it not? And, if this was said in the presence of S10, then shame of both adults. There is absolutely nothing positive that comes from this topic, so stop it......stop explaining to her......stop trying to convince or persuade her that you are right.......just stop.

This didn't occur in front of S10. He was in his room at this point. And I didn't try to explain it to her. I knew it was a pointless discussion. That's why I walked away. But I agree, in retrospect, it was a pointless line in the sand.

So, whenever a bully picks on S10, he will know to run hide in his room? Look, this action does nothing, and she stands outside screaming at you.

S10 was not in the room at this time (but he did come to my door after the argument was over). Should I have engaged her in the discussion of the percentages after all? How can I respond in a way that will show her I won't be screamed at, without engaging her further in the argument? Calm responses are really difficult after the discussion gets to this point. I'm honestly confused.

Don't assume anything about your in-laws. Be relaxed, polite, and Fonzie cool.

I'll try. Thanks Sandi.