Why don't you be the bigger person and just agree you were both equally responsible for the falling apart of the marriage?
LH19,
I'd swear that my XW and Holding's wife are the same person. Your post reminded me of the old saying, "You've mistaken my kindness for weakness." I suspect Holding's wife responds to kindness the same way my XW does; she'd use it against him at any opportunity. The only way I was able to get to place where I could interact reasonably with my XW was to SHOW her that if she started anything that she'd have to suffer through a sh*t storm from h3ll.
You wouldn't understand unless you've been through it; they live in a fantasy world that has it's own rules and morality. Everything becomes distorted and turned against the oppressor (i.e. the spouse and anyone else standing in the way). I'm a very laid-back kind of guy, but I got to the point where I realized that my XW would just take advantage of any shred of niceness that I'd extend to her. Maybe a better man could've done better with her, but I honestly don't think so.
