Yes, using your chart - it would seem that we are using item 3. The regular requests are not because of work, or taking care of elderly parents, or her illness, etc. Things I would call unavoidable. Our Sit is W asks for "switch" so she can go to conferences, vacations and visit the OM. I would call them recreational.
What does it matter what the reasons are? She's not your W anymore. Maybe on paper, but not spiritually which is really all that matters. Her life is her own and yours is your own. Her reasons for swapping days are not your business and vice versa. If you have a problem with her wanting to swap days all the time then fine, just give her a clearly stated boundary such as:
"W, I have plans during the times I don't have the kids and plans for the times I do have the kids, and swapping days all the time is a huge inconvenience for me. If you want me to take the kids during your visitation that is fine, but please understand I can not swap a day with you as I already have that time planned out. So I can do it, but you'll be giving up that day with them."
Get her to agree to those terms. After that if she wants you to watch the kids and starts griping about not getting a day back, just remind her of the boundary that she agreed to.
My XW and I have been at this for 5 years now. At this point two of the kids are grown and moved out so only the youngest is still going back and forth. We've maintained a lot of flexibility with each other over the years, I'd say that it's mostly been her needing me to watch them but sometimes I have a last minute trip and need her to help out. We typically do not swap days, we "give up" the day or days but in the long run we've done it enough back and forth that it more or less evened out. If your W is doing it every week then I could see it being a problem though, it's hard to make plans if the schedule is ALWAYS in flux.
By the way, when my XW has ever wanted me to watch the kids I didn't ask why. I didn't know and didn't care.
