Fighting my way out of the dark Part 5

[Holding]

I just can't get a peaceful weekend.

We had a big blow up yesterday. Let's just forget that this is a DB forum, because this probably won't be a great example on DB'ing or how to save your M. My M is dead.

The monthly financial arrangements have always been hard for us, because STBXW insists on getting her way. For November, I told her I wouldn't be helping her pay for any late charges that she ran up in October - there were about 4 credit cards and utilities that she paid late. She got really upset and said, well then, she wouldn't be paying the full amount on these accounts, she'd just be paying the full amount minus the late fee, and our credit would just have to suffer for it. I didn't react and she walked off. This was in front of S10, and when she walked off he dryly said "that was harsh." (I love that little dude)

This whole conversation actually took place outside. STBXW delivered her monologue from the front porch while S10 and I were in the front yard yard putting up the Halloween decorations outside. Getting ready for Halloween was actually pretty emotional for me and S10, realizing this may be the last year we do it at our home.

Anyway, when we were done with the decorations, I just had to get out of the house for a few hours to cool off after STBXW's decision on financial sabotage.

I got back a few hours later and tried to help S10 carve his pumpkin. We were sitting on the couch looking at pictures of "scary pumpkin faces" for inspiration. Then STBXW came in the room and started pushing the financial discussion again. I said I wouldn't be helping with the late fees, it was her responsibility to pay them on time, and now she has to pay the fees herself. I said that was all I had to say about it. I went back to looking at my tablet with S10.

She kept pushing a discussion. S10 had gotten ear protectors from somewhere (the big kind you wear when shooting), and was sitting on the sofa wearing them. She started talking about how the finances were unfair to her (they are not), and I defended myself against her accusations. After a few minutes, S10 quietly left with his laptop and ear protectors. I let fly with "You're a real class act for having this argument in front of our son."

She blamed me again for preventing her from moving out. I showed her where the door was and invited her to leave. She then asked why I wasn't the one to move out. I said since she wanted this D, she should be the one to leave. She said I was as much to blame for the death of the M as she was. I told her I had issues and things to account for, but they were not 50%. She got really mad that I refused to accept 50% and wanted to know how I could say that. I told her I wasn't going to help her beat the dead horse of the M any more. I asked if she would leave me and S10 in peace so that we could carve a pumpkin. She said she wouldn't, she wanted to know how I could possibly claim I didn't own 50% of the issues. So I went in my room and locked the door. I could hear her yell from the other room "So you're just going to run off and not talk to me, like you did for our whole M."

After a minute she knocked on the door to say she was leaving the room so S10 and I could carve his pumpkin. He came to the door and asked me if I could help him, so I went out. I apologized to him for having to hear all that. We finished the pumpkin and it came out great!

My next hurdle is Halloween itself. STBXW had agreed to give me separate time to trick or treat with S10 by myself (I really don't feel comfortable going with her extended family), so let's see if she still honors that. And then the next day she's having a knee operation that will leave her laid up in bed for a few days. MIL will be in the house to help care for her - she never asked me, not that I'm sure what kind of help I could be in this environment. I have nothing against her family, but I'm not sure what she's been telling them about me, and MIL might try to accuse me of something.

I emailed my L and told her to please move on things. I can't do this in house S any more. It's absolute hell. I want to be finished with this by Christmas so I can celebrate it as a new beginning in my life.

And BTW, my anniversary is next week. I expect it'll go unmentioned.