Yeah J, I'm in a good spot now. I feel more calm and things are less on edge for me. I am just back at refocusing on my goals and getting the place up to par to my standards. Kids rooms are great, but house still needs some stuff that I will have to get over time.
Kids are having a difficult time with the separation situation. Both of them are very sensitive and if I ever see them when they're with W, they just don't want me to leave. It just effin' breaks my heart and them to split their time is just so unfair. I think that is the most difficult thing for me now. I am filling their life with everything and more - love, time, affection, and supporting their education.
Yeah, I don't know how W can think this situation is working. To her credit, she has texted me in the past how much she misses them and it's lonely for her when the kids are with me. But, that's not good enough for her to consider working on things. Well, I think it's just this crazy level of selfishness that I just can't condone. I was talking to a friend who had someone in her family go through a separation recently, and she said it was the most selfish thing she had seen - mom and dad are okay with moving on with their lives, but the kids are super unhappy. The kids got the short end of the stick.
I think at one point, one of the kids said - 'you guys are happy, but did you ever think if me and my sister are going to be happy with this arrangement'. I don't know how they handled it, but it's the brutal truth and kids will tell you as they see it. The separation was mutual apparently, but still the impact is enormous on the kids.
In our cases where the split was not mutual, the degree of selfishness for the WW/WH is even greater. When I think of this, I am just baffled at how this could be a good option for the family. It is good for the WW/WH, but they just left a trail of devastation for three other people. I know that I won't get an answer for it, but at this point I don't care about answers. I used to care about that. I just want to be the stable unselfish parent for my kids so that they know that no matter what, I am there for them and I got them.
Kids have also gotten closer to me recently as I have made a 180 in how I deal with my control issues. I have made good strides and I plan on keep going ahead.
