Leah, part 6

[leahsue]

Thanks, friends. Your posts truly helped me get through a hard day yesterday.

My Mama was just being herself. My sister and I agreed years ago, that thankfully we have one another to feed those emotional needs, because Mama just does not know how. I'm pretty sure at age 79 she's not going to change. At age 59, I should know this. But it still hurts sometimes.

Own, I think that is the most beautiful definition of "leaning into it" that I have ever read. Additionally, IT MAKES SENSE. And 25, thanks for asking for clarification. Sometimes that takes courage to admit we don't understand something, but when we're honest like that, so many people benefit when the answer is given.

My lawyer appointment is one week from tomorrow. I still do not have a clear heart about what I will do.

I'll probably feel differently tomorrow, or even later tonight (LOL), but right now I'm leaning toward a motto I have tried to use through the years. Sometimes, I've heeded the words, sometimes not. But I can't ever remember being sorry that I DID HEED them. OTOH, I have often regretted that I did not.

"When in doubt, don't."

To be continued.....

PS- today was a much better day. Mama and I went to early church (and I find SO much peace there at this stage- just entering the huge cathedral with the stained glass and pipe organ- I can feel my heart settling down. And believe me, I've been through every "church" stage available through the years- contemporary, "high" church, pop music, old time hymns, you name it. Right now, the solitude and ritual are healing to me.), and then worked an 11-4 shift at the part time job. I set a personal record for deliveries and was so excited. Home now and just started a fire in the fireplace, snuggled with my sweet dog. So much to be thankful for.