This is how I see the situation. Yes he may have went from doormat to extreme. But what is the suggestion for a middle ground? Often times the defensiveness comes in, because the forum tells us your letting her eat cake. And the next moment your trying to control her. But no one ever just helps you come up with actual ideas. Bigybiz is trying to come up with something that works for him. Because the encouragement on this forum is to focus on your happiness. And that is what he clearly is doing. The solution is for his W to stop passing up opportunities with her children to chase OM. Giving into her complaints is spoiling her to be honest IMHO.
WWs are not always wrong. Even a broken clock is right twice a day. Being able to consider feedback from people you don't like on its own merits, not rejecting it because you object to the person, is a sign of strength.
Me: 44 H: 44 Kids: 20, 16, 16, and 10 Together/Married: 22 years H announced he was emotionally detached and considering D: 4/4/16 H announced he is going to try to stay and reconnect: 5/1/16
