Some people think that they have to put on a happy face and look like they are still living their lives when, really, they feel like they need to cry to express their emotions. When we feel the pain and work through it, we can find our own strength in our own time and not on the time table of others. There are lots of people out there that think we should be over and done w/the entire situation within a few months...it doesn't happen. We have to grieve and go through the steps of grieving. There are people who think grieving is for those who have died...but they forget, you can also grieve for a relationship that has disappeared.
For me, when my xh walked out, I grieved for quite a while and attempted to put on the happy face for all because they were uncomfortable with the face that I wasn't, in their opinion, moving on at a fast pace. Fast forward 6 years and my sister's h was killed. Well, according to my parents, my sister could take all of the time she needed to grieve and she's still grieving almost 13 years later and my mother pointed out that her situation was so different from mine. Unfortunately, I agreed to disagree w/what situation constitutes a grieving process.
I also agree that tears are not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of grieving and healing. If you need to cry, do so. No one should expect you to be happy all of the time because what you are going thru is not a happy time at all.
As you get stronger, you will be more able to confront your fears and each time you will get a little bit stronger and until one day, you will come to realize that you are noticing signs of happiness once again. It's a very slow process, but I firmly believe each and every person will get there...but it will be on their time table.
Please take care of yourself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
