Chapter 5 - Turning over to a new page

[bigybiz]

Rose888

I can't thank you enough for keeping me on my toes. It's why I come here.

I've read over and over again that your WAW/WW wants an amicable split as a trophy. Want's to have the best of both worlds. It's up to me (us) to lay a strong groundwork of what we will tolerate etc to not be a door mat. I've also read, we need to treat them like ex business partners. Someone we are stuck with and we need to ensure that neither party is being "ripped off". Both parties are getting value.

When the BD happened I was so accommodating, I was walked over. I've been flexible, never has the word "Please" come into conversation. I've been instructed "I'm busy on Tues, I'll take the boys Wed.." I need to push back and so sorry, that does not work...

So am I rigid maybe - am I a sucker - nope.

Would you agree that there is a forgone opportunity cost which is not quantifiable by $ e.g. I was to have guests over one day when there was a no show. I had to tell my friend, they could not come over. That ruined his evening too. Also, if there is a no show what does that say to my sons if I dump them too? Sorry mom is a no show and I've made plans already - order pizza and play video games see you at 11. If I change my plans to accommodate her should I not be compensated?

What good is documenting? That to me sounds like a list of bad things you have done - not very attractive. I agree so is being rigid not attractive.

For the record, I've used the "days owed" for good and not evil I got to take my sons on vacation. This summer we went to Florida, last summer the Dominican Republic, we've gone on family reunions, zip lining, snow boarding, etc. All due to the days owed.

Her owed days = memorable experiences for my sons.



My sons (and d21) have benefited from the days owed system.