I can understand why the visits to the OM are hard to stomach, but I don't understand why you won't be flexible about the schedule so she can go to conferences and vacations.

Aren't you ever going to need to go to conferences or vacations? These seem like normal adjustments most people make without "charging" their co-parent. Are you typically a very rigid person?

Not showing up is definitely annoying.I'd make note of those days. If you had to pay someone to watch your son on those days, I'd charge her for that, but I wouldn't say she owed you an additional day with the boys.


Me: 44
H: 44
Kids: 20, 16, 16, and 10
Together/Married: 22 years
H announced he was emotionally detached and considering D: 4/4/16
H announced he is going to try to stay and reconnect: 5/1/16