Thanks for your post. I appreciate the amount of time you put into the response.
Yes, using your chart - it would seem that we are using item 3. The regular requests are not because of work, or taking care of elderly parents, or her illness, etc. Things I would call unavoidable. Our Sit is W asks for "switch" so she can go to conferences, vacations and visit the OM. I would call them recreational. Yes, this is subjective.
Yes, emotional immature people would punish someone if they refused to switch change child care for someone to go to a funeral.
M:50 W:53 MR:20 D:21 S:17 S:11 BD-Sept 2015 Suspected PA Sept 2015-Confronted W & OM Dec 2015 Actually EA In house Sep:Jan/16-May 2016 W moved out:May 22 2016 OM-Intro Oct/17-On scene July/Aug 2017