I wish I knew what "leaning into the pain" or "just going through it" meant,
or "processing it" - unless there is a choice I'm unaware of. (I'm not being snarky, I'm serious.)
But leah, your mom must be pretty elderly. I assume the reason for the visit was to comfort you but she does not know how (cheering you up with funny jokes!!?)
as for filing or not filing, are you more vulnerable by not filing?
own has a great point about the acceptance phase. When you realize there is little or no hope left,
there is a big fat void and a big fat gut punch - which you felt had already happened.
I feel better than before, about it. I know You shall as well.
It's embarrassing to admit that meeting OM's helps to remind myself of how many things in the m of late, were NOT so hot.
NOT so acceptable - things I would not accept in a new man. I am embarrassed b/c it should not take a new man in my life to remind myself that my needs were not being met the last 2 years, by a long shot.
Just trying to be gentle with myself and I hope you will be, too. Also, tears are not a sign of weakness. OMG Not at all. Like I said, I wish I could, and I think not crying is slowing me down
((( )))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
