So, I'm approaching this with the view point that the goal of a good custody agreement is to ensure that each parent has equal time with the kids and that the kids have equal time with each parent.
Say the agreement states that Mom has the kids for 3 days this week and Dad has the kids for 4 days. And then next week, it's the opposite (4 with Mom, 3 with Dad).
Mom has a conflict with one of her days and calls Dad up to ask him if he can switch a day with her.
Dad can respond in one of four ways:
1. He can agree to the swap. He takes the kids on the day assigned to Mom, and Mom takes the kids on one of the days assigned to Dad for the week. Mom still gets 3 days and Dad still gets 4. This is the end.
2. He agrees to take the kids on the day assigned to Mom, but there is a reason he wants to keep the kids on all of his assigned days as well, so he agrees to trade a day from next week. So, Mom gets 2 days and Dad gets 5 this week, but next week, Mom gets 5 and Dad gets two. This is the end.
3. Dad says he can take the kids this week, but he won't give up one of his days. Dad gets 5 days this week and Mom gets 2. Next week's schedule is unchanged. This is the end. If this happens frequently, even for good reasons (like Mom's job or schooling or need to care for elderly parents), it can significantly disrupt the equal time with both parents that is the goal of the custody agreement.
4. Dad says he can't take the kids and Mom has to arrange (and pay, if needed) for someone else to watch them. This is the end.
Emotionally mature dads don't usually use options 3 and 4 unless Mom frequently requests day switching for frivolous reasons.
It sounds (and I hope I'm misunderstanding this) that you are using option 3 plus you are "charging" your wife an additional day without the kids, and you get to use that extra day at your discretion. So, not only is this week unbalanced in terms of time with the kids, but you increase the unbalance by an additional day in the future.
I have to be misunderstanding this, right?
Me: 44 H: 44 Kids: 20, 16, 16, and 10 Together/Married: 22 years H announced he was emotionally detached and considering D: 4/4/16 H announced he is going to try to stay and reconnect: 5/1/16