If you are moving to acceptance, that is a very painful time. It is letting go of all of the hope and mourning the life that you thought you'd be living. I've had some doozy days, but they get further and further apart and the crying jags get shorter and shorter.
I think Job is 100% right (as usual) you have to feel the pain and lean into it. With mom too, you have to let go of the expectations for who she should be and accept her for who she is. My mom can't love me the way I want or need to be loved, but I do know that she loves me in the best way she can.
Take a long hot bath or shower, let the tears out, put on some lovely music and try to sleep. Sleep makes everything feel better.
