Contact from the dark side.

[Irish M]

I don't think you can accept her version of what the therapist is saying as what the therapist is saying. Given that she is now reaching out and agreeing with you when you challenge her fantasy version of events, it seems like something is happening in a positive fashion.

Hi OwnIt
I agree.. she is telling me these things. Are they true? I've been to therapy and they usually let you talk and they listen. Small questions here and there. Rarely would they blurt out whats wrong with you until you figure it out. I know this is a new therapist for her. So her telling me things is probably what she wants to hear.

your girls have given their thoughts on communications with their mum , i'm sure you don't need me to tell you that they may not currently share your compassion so maybe baby steps is what springs to mind. Just my thoughts.

Hi Rd
The girls are watching me. How I react to her messaging. Right now They are unaware of this latest touch from her. The last time the girls got all wound up and XW fell flat as a no show and went back in the sewer with pennywise. With D15 heartbreak , I will wait until Tuesday to bring it up.

I know protecting daddy.. but I'm at the point where I've seen enough heartache and frustration because of XW.

I don't put much stock in what your xw has shared about the therapist. Some are not the best, but when a MLCer goes to a therapist, they pick and choose what they want to hear and apply it their situation. I know that you will take what she says w/a grain of salt.

(((Hugs))) back Job.
Yes I am not letting her comments get to me and I'm sure the therapist is just making her talk and that is what she is repeating. Glad she is at least doing that. It's a start. We will see long-term if it pays off for her and the girls.

It's hard to tell if she's getting this from the therapist or this is her muddled spin on things, as Job pointed out. I think tho that overall it's positive that she's continuing to do the work. We can at least say that she's starting the process. Who knows where it will end up?

hi bttrfly ((xox))
yes at least she has started something. This is action. I really believe she is going to therapy this time. She was a loving mom, that has to be in there somewhere screaming to get out again.

. I am particularly concerned about one d who has always been super close to mom and not so close to me.

Hey Gordie, thanks for the support. Make extra time for your D. She will grow close with your stability. I know many families the kids are closer to one parent and not the other. That one parent is more available and has taken the role as main support. We all get busy, we see that our kids are fine because the other parents is managing that role. Life is good. Only when the break happens the kids are drawn to that one parent. We feel that loss. My case is extreme. I was closer to the girls but XW bailed on them as well. Love your D and your other kids. In time they will all see you as the rock.

As for your exw, her memory is Swiss cheese. You can see that when she says "oh yeah I forgot x happened." Assuming the therapist has a 1/4 of a brain, he/she is going to know that the problems did not start at separation. Her break with reality was a long time coming. Women who abandon their kids are very, very rare birds.

((Hugs)) HaWho. Yes, rare birds but I do know a few. Maybe it's the Quebecois culture. Who knows.
I know XW has insurance so I am sure she didn't go with the free social-aide government appointed therapist. Time will tell.

She sounds like she is trying to understand what happened and that is good
I think her kids mean enough to her that she is seeking help
and as long as she is not medicating with drugs/she may get better over some time
I thing the drugs ruin a persons chance for growth

Yes I believe her missing the girls is the key driving her seek for help.
As for the drugs. Well OM is still in the picture and he is that towns local Pot head. In Canada we are legalizing marijuana. In her town they opened up 2 major grow Ops. Lets hope she is clean.

recap on her drug use. She hates it , people in the park across from our house would smoke there. shed call the cops. zero tolerance. The one time she tried it at a party before having kids. It was a bad reaction.

BD, she was a full time pot head. Even told the girls if they need pot come to mommy.

So let's pray she's clean.

Small update

She is back to being a texting machine.

Irish we need to see each other soon. I need to be a mother again. I want to help the girls in school. I can help. Tell me how I can help.
I can't live without them anymore. It's eating at me. I cant live.


But you know Irish, I chose to live rather than end it. I made many attempts to see them. What did I do wrong. I'm a good person. I'm a good mother. I need the girls in my life


I also want them to accept my life. Be part of it.


Well I'm glad you chose to live. The girls need a mom. I believe you will one day connect with them

I always put them first. you know that Irish. Even today i would put them first.

I need to see you, to talk.


I called the school. D15 is struggling with History. I can help her.
I told her history teacher to be easy on D15. She has been through a lot and hasn't seen me for over 2 years.

I was a good mother and still am.


yes you were a great mother. You just lost your path. Lost that motherly instinct as you said. It happens sadly. It's what you will do next that will determine the outcome.

Yes, I know I haven't been a good mom over that past 2 years and a half. But I am a good person.


Irish . lets have lunch next week. I am free Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday. oh and Thursday night. Let me know.


Sure, Tuesday sounds great. Lunch at ( mid point between our towns).
Not sure I will eat but I will be there.

me neither I won't have much of an appetite. see you then. thank you



So there we are. Set for a lunch meet up next Tuesday. Will it happen? who knows. The past attempts all failed. I'll be there anyway since I am getting a haircut in that area that morning. I'll listen to what she has to say and validate when needed. If it goes south I will just walk away.

hope you all have a great weekend. I'm going to enjoy some time with the girls, a Halloween party with the gf and the sun.

take care