25yearsMLC 10 Later I FILE D part 7

[25yearsmlc]

25,

Just curious to why you would keep G around at this point? Clearly M is who you want, but wouldn't messing with G potentially risk things with M?

Good question but 1) M is not asking for exclusivity and we are barely starting out. I met him in a support group so although I feel I know him better than I would a guy I met in ordinary circumstances, we have just begun a relationship.

And 2) G is confusing to me. I thought we were friends, and that's probably b/c I have 5 brothers, and just left a long m. I did not cheat but I interacted with a lot of men, (military too) so I must have missed his signals. I shut out flirting in my professional life and just acted as if it wasn't happening. That mostly worked. Like I'd say "what?? Oh I'm married" and let them save face (hey, it was the Army. Not so easy to tell a man off, esp 15 years ago).

G brought up his financial solvency and I realized the only reason to do that (he didn't seem to be bragging) was b/c he wanted me to know he was not seeking a purse in a woman.

And he spoke of finding a special lady and I realized, (I think) that he was referring to me.

I wanted to make sure I wasn't being full of myself so I asked my fav brother and he said "oh yeah , he wants to move forward in the r and is letting you know you won't have to worry about money"

which is very kind of him, actually.

Whereas I only met M a month ago. But I hear you Tread, I will find a way to explain to G that I really value his friendship (and I do.) We have a lot in common. My older sister said to give him a chance b/c I'm very comfortable with him and he has been divorced a long time. So I hesitated.

Here is a question. Last year my T in California hammered the "don't marry the first guy you date" and she really really hammered it. I guess it's a frequent thing to marry the first person who makes you feel desirable after an ego blow.

So I believe I should date for a bit and not choose. Figure out what I want in my adult self, as opposed to the 19 y/o who chose and married h.

A part of me asks "why choose now, if there's no request for exclusivity?"