Learning, Growing, Healing

[Sotto]

Hi Cali, it's good to hear from you and I'm glad to hear you're generally doing well - despite recent challenges. It isn't easy going through the D process. You've been here a while now and you do handle things very calmly - but don't take any chit either - which I admire.

Yes, in many ways it is easier if your spouse runs headlong into the D process and finalises it relatively quickly as mine did. That way it is taken out of your hands and your spouse is no longer your spouse and it is easier to move on (for me anyway.) I'm not sure where I would be if XH hadn't filed for D. But in many ways I'm grateful he did.

I think the whole areas of acceptance and assimilation are really important. It has been a big area of learning for me - to loose the control and let others be and live as they see fit. To do the same myself - and integrate the difficult experience of our marital breakdown into my life and move forward.

Your situation still isn't ideal and you are still navigating some rough waters. However, who you are and how you are shines through in all of your postings, and that is what really matters at the end of the day - X happened and Y happened - but through these, I managed to carry myself in a way I can look back and feel proud and at peace.

Take care Cali xx