During which S10 tells me MLC asked about how I was and asked S10 if I ever ask about her which struck him as strange (had to say it gave me pause but then I quickly shrugged it off as its just one of those things I think they go through). He is not aware she lost her job and I have taken the position its not my story to tell.
Ignoring the MLC label - if you think of them just as someone who lies, you can reasonably expect that they believe that everyone else does too and that they would try to protect themselves from it.
My kids are significantly older and we have boundaries where I don't ask about their mother and they don't tell me. On the other hand, especially as the settlement was being negotiated I am quite positive that she pressured S23 into passing on information. Since I've told my kids that I have no secrets from them or their mother I'm "fine" with that although annoyed that she would do such a thing.
It's interesting to me from the perspective that I have now that you've not made any efforts to get some closure. I know we've talked about it before. I'm perhaps more risk averse than you are which is where I was absolutely concerned about where "crazy train" might be headed and wanted to get off. You still seem to be holding a ticket on that ride. You don't have to answer, but have you given hard thought to what the end goal is for you? We can I think assume that your W isn't "coming home" any time soon, if at all. So why prolong things?
As I said - you don't have to answer here. And thanks for your past support on my own journey.
Closure is a topic that gets tossed around a bit in the circle I am a part of. I am not sure if there really is ever closure on something like this where a long term marriage is terminated basically by one party for confusing reasons, I can say the same about my fathers death I am not sitting around waiting for him to come in the door nor do I think he will .. its the same with the MLCr those dramatic events like a death or the ending of a marriage in the way it happened I am not sure one ever gets 'closure' sure you work on things, you move on, you accept but it will never make sense and you just have to arrive at a place where you realize it was out of your hands and whats done is done. Hence why there are a few forums like this one to help those cope and give support from people who have lived the similar nightmare, the only reason I still post and update is simply to tell the story from my perspective and TBH I am curious to see how it plays out and ends, not only for myself and my son but for her, something in these 20+ threads may help someone else... I know when I was in the middle of it all I read tons of stories and found parts that I could use in my sitch which in retrospect were pivotal in my journey.
I think all we can really do is achieve acceptance which I completely have and once I did arrive there it helped my healing process along much further. Still in the courts with the divorce process is not a matter of 'holding the ticket' really, it no longer feels like limbo, I will be divorced its just a matter of when at this point as the courts here in California are flooded with so many cases its just a waiting process. My case was filed in Sep16 and we have yet to get to mediation(Jan18).
As far as the inquisition and S10 finding it strange I think he was picking up on her stress about the job and confusing it with who knows what... he told me he found it strange is all and I am thankful he does share his feelings with me on such things, we are pretty open on several things including his crush on Gracie who sits 3 seats away. All I can do is help him through all this as I have and focus on him, tbh she is actually leaps and bounds better with him than a few years ago and I have seen the benefit of that through him. Her getting through this crisis is not about coming to her senses and trying to come back and fix all she has done, to me its just her finding her way out and becoming a better version of herself as I have ... our S10 benefits from that.
