Limerence and My Situation 5

[Rose888]

You are simultaneously saying your physical separation is evidence of your detachment from your wife and stating that you don't want to be detached.

Synonyms are rarely exact duplications of the term, but objective and aloof (the actual definition) fits what we are talking about here. It's getting to the point where your mood is separate from your wife's mood or actions.

Emotional detachment does not equal physical distance or physical separation. It also is not the same as no contact, although many people find it harder to emotionally detach if there is a lot of contact.

Since there was no physical separation in my case, I think of emotional detachment as independent of physical separation,

I'm over a year into piecing, and I'm still working on emotional detachment. Detachment is not a barrier to reconciliation. It's been hugely beneficial to my marriage.

As for pursuit, I am not basing my perception on the one Christmas conversation. I took some time to think about what it is in your posts that reads so strongly of pursuit. I should say that I have a strong distancer streak, so I might read this differently than most people, but to me, any time you show your wife that her words or actions affect you strongly, that feels like pursuit.

So, the trophy incident, the fight about whether you'll see OM, and even your boundary about not seeing OM, all feel like pursuit to me. And that's just in the last two months.

I don't expect you to agree with me, and others might think I'm way off base, but that is how I read the situation.