Contact from the dark side.

[Irish M]

Hi Guys,

thanks so much for the support and help here. Not a day goes by that I am not grateful.

HaWho, I too didn't think she was ready. She has a long way to go. If her therapist is a good one hopefully he will see through her masks

OwnIt, I too am a sucker for lost souls. I believe in people and I believe in her that one day she will connect with the girls. I just hope it was sooner than later.

for the point you made about her staying out for a few days , it doesn't matter anymore. I look at it so differently. I know she is not well and in a dark place. I don't let it get to me.

Roist, yes the truth darts. I'll stay quiet and listen. great advice.

bttrfly, yes classic depression symptoms. Sadly shes not there yet to accept it as that and blame is still her motto. I believe to o she is working it out. I just can't let it get to me and misreading between the lines . I've don't that in the past. Won't
fall again. The girls won't either.

Hi Sotto, there is always value to your posts. I only wish I was as good as you are at giving advice.

Cali, I have the time, no rushing this process as it won't give the girls a positive outcome. She needs to be in a good place. If all this is to only show clarity an then disappear, the girls will be one step closer to writing her off .They too have hope. They feel she will wake up and do the right thing.


UPDATE **

So, a week went by and no news. I figured either her therapy took a wrong turn and it was too much for her or simply the therapist told her she was not ready. Either way no news. Until today.

Good morning, sorry I didn't write sooner. My therapist says I shouldn't see you just yet Irish. That the reason I don't see the girls is because of the separation.

I lost my motherly instinct because of the separation, because of the way the girls reacted, the way they talked back to me and that hurt. So up went the wall. I built a wall around myself to protect me. That now I need to work on breaking that wall down to let my babies in. Irish, I'm working hard at this. I don't have that mother feeling to see them. I just don't feel I'm there yet and I'll let you know if that happens.


a little later. this one came in.

you have to understand I was in a dark place. I'm seeing it now that our breakdown caused it. The girls didn't help.

Ex, I understand about the meet up. I am ready when you are. As for the separation being the cause of this dark place you entered. I see it more as you went into the dark place, the girls didn't recognize you anymore and our separation was unavoidable. Either way Im glad you are working through this.

Irish, thank you for understanding. You know we should of had a better couple therapist. I know you didn't like the one I picked and I had asked you to find one. I wish you would of done that part.

XW, 10 years ago when you went off the map. The therapist even told me nothing I can do. That therapy was to make me accept.

2 Years ago when you asked me to chose the therapist this time for our couple I didn't. I didn't see you wanting it. It takes 2. I wasn't going to do therapy again so I can accept it. So that you can say " you see, we didn't work" . I was all a game to you and part of your escape plan.

What didn't work was you. I know my faults and have expressed them. Our couple could of survived. But you were on a mission to get out. I didn't need a therapist to tell me that.


You are right. I needed out at all costs. In my heart I had wanted you to find a therapist. In my head I was leaving. You have nothing to apologize for. You did nothing wrong Irish. This all happened for unknown reasons.
I felt like I was not your partner in life. You managed the budget and that's OK. But I wanted to help you. I wanted you to trust me like I trusted you. I wanted to feel like a team.
god I hate texting . This way of communication is the worst. Please don't take anything I saw negative, its not my intentions.

the budget? well you know I offered it to you and even said take it on. You needed to step up to the plate. It wasn't going to get done by itself. If that is the sole reason you left, I'm sorry.
By the way, We were a great team. We raised the girls together. They are beautiful souls today because of it. You were a great mom. Just got lost. You are working on that and I am open to communication. Have a good day

I didn't step up did I . I remember that now. have a good day too

Well that was today. I know I slipped up. Defending. Truth darting overload. But it was an open communication.

I'm not sure what to think about her therapy. Is he really telling her that her shut down was because of our separation. She was shut down way before. and the girls only gave her attitude when she went manic. Her shark eyes showed me that she was deep in a depression. My mom even picked up on it weeks before and asked her to see a doctor. She lied to my mom and said she did.

The therapist is on the wrong path. This will just validate her own lies. Hopefully he is working this to help her dig deeper within. Time will tell.

Now tonight \i have a heart broken D15. Her BF just broke up with her. He lives 40 mins away. I usually drop her off and pick her up on weekends. Not to get in the way of school nights. He takes public transit but said they don't see each other enough. So better they break up. His Dad a MLCr drove him for the first time and didn't like the commute. So it's cookies tonight and hugs. Seeing her cry breaks my heart.

Irish