But I did find myself falling into the example of not asking for what I really want.
Yeah that's definitely a big part of NGS. In my new R I've turned that around and it's amazing how when you ask for what you want, you mostly GET what you want
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But lately I have found myself bitter that my W is probably spreading her legs for men who haven't done 5 percent of what I have. I did those things with no expectations. But now I am wondering if I was a damn fool for doing so.
Why? How is that a reflection on you? That's a reflection on who SHE is, not you. Who is the fool in that scenario? Seems pretty obvious.
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Which is why my W still called me a few weeks ago asking for a ride. And I came to the rescue with no expectations. Which folks on this forum told me that I shouldn't have done that for her.
But did you really have no expectations? That's the key. If you can do that for her and not care if she thanks you, or drive's to someone's house to sleep with them, or whatever, THEN it's OK to do that. But if you do it and then later say "I was a damn fool" well then THAT indicates that you had some kind of expectation. I used to volunteer for Hearts and Hammers. Some of the younger people would complain about how the homeowners never helped or even thanked anyone. I would tell them that they need to reevaluate why they were doing volunteer work, because if you're doing it for praise or rewards of some kind then you'll be disappointed every time. You have to do it BECAUSE IT'S THE RIGHT THING TO DO. Nothing more, nothing less. That is personal integrity, when you can do something for someone and walk away feeling good about yourself no matter what they said or did in response, even if it was nothing.
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They come back apologizing, but that is only due to their plans falling apart. If I am confused about this please let me know.
That does happen sometimes, and usually when it does then the recon is a false one and doesn't last long. But sometimes the LBS walks away and the WAS realizes what they lost and comes back remorseful and truly repentant. Those are the recons that stand the best chance of lasting.
