Yup, you're not her safety net no more. There are obviously exceptions to this when some serious emergencies happen and you should break NC, but not for something like this. Let her call some of her new friends and whoever else.
Again, me and my W (WW) are living apart; and if you see on my previous page; she texted me "Mr. X is no longer a part of my life"... However, I still see W is following this person on some social media stuff.
She is still playing with you. She sent you that text without asking a single question that required an answer from you.
Until you get control of your own reactions, she is going to yank you around. She is still not ready to reconcile. If there was any humility in her heart, she would not have sent a text worded that way. Remember, when she gets her heart right, you will see her attitude change, too. Attitude, words and actions need to be aligned. Until then, you have nothing to discuss.
Even if the OM dumped her, or she dumped him.......it doesn't mean she is ready to behave like a wife again. I hope she won't go to OM#2, but if she doesn't make some big changes in herself, it is probable.
Chris, she is going to temp check you to see if you are still her backup plan after informing you about OM being out of the picture (which I doubt will stick). I hope you will be strong and not cave to her game playing.
As long as you are separated from your W, leave her family alone. They are her family.....not yours.
What are you doing every week that gets you out of the house? Do you have friends that are not tied to her family or relatives? You need some friends that are not attached to her. Know what I mean? What are you doing that puts you out there with other people?
You are doing better. Keep at it.
((Hugs))
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
That does make sense and aligns to what you have conveyed in your posts. Her attitude, actions, along with her words need to align to remorse.
I do have a large amount of friends which are MY friends, so I do keep busy almost every weekend. I am lucky to have such great people in my life to hang with.
M:30 W:28 T:9 MR:2.5 NoKids Seperation 1: 9/16-12/16 Move back in: 1/17 BD: 8/15 She moved out: 9/1
For some reason I have been thinking about the W a lot throughout the day. For some reason I cannot shake it. I still have been practicing NC/GAL/and attempting to 180 my mr nice guy by reading the book and scheduling an session with IC.
But ever since W has told me she is done with Mr. X (OM)...I just have been thinking about her lately. What is going on; I am still practicing methods from this board, especially in regards to WW; but I just don't know why my mind is racing.
M:30 W:28 T:9 MR:2.5 NoKids Seperation 1: 9/16-12/16 Move back in: 1/17 BD: 8/15 She moved out: 9/1
For some reason I have been thinking about the W a lot throughout the day. For some reason I cannot shake it. I still have been practicing NC/GAL/and attempting to 180 my mr nice guy by reading the book and scheduling an session with IC.
My guess is her revelation that she is no long with OM is making you think you have a shot to get back together. I agree with Sandi though, if she were ready to reconcile she would make that very clear to you. Just stay the course, keep on with your DB'ing. Whatever you do, DON'T temperature check her!
But ever since W has told me she is done with Mr. X (OM)...I just have been thinking about her lately. What is going on; I am still practicing methods from this board, especially in regards to WW; but I just don't know why my mind is racing. [/quote]
Yep, understood. I believe she is showing some GGW actions at the moment; as she made a trip down to beach area in the south. Taking pictures and posting them on social media.
I assume once her nephew is born, and I do not attend that event she will respond with some hateful words/bullying; but who knows, I am not going to mind read anything. I am just going to have a good time this weekend with friends watching football and drinking some beers.
M:30 W:28 T:9 MR:2.5 NoKids Seperation 1: 9/16-12/16 Move back in: 1/17 BD: 8/15 She moved out: 9/1
Have no expectation, b\c then, you will be thrown by whatever she does. That's not to say not to be geared up for whatever comes.
Chris, you don't want her back while she's showing no change for the better. It would only set you up for major hurt again. It sounds as if she has a long way to go.
You've got this! Just stay in close contact with the board.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
