Trouble is, is that although I am examining my life and the things I could change about myself I am literally working in the dark. I have no clue what drove him away because he won't tell me so I don't know what changes I am supposed to be showing him
Good Morning Coly! - Well - it's early morning here.
This bit stood out for me. When faced with an unsolvable problem one thing I will do is "turn it upside down". Instead of trying looking at the issue from the point of view that you don't have any information on, perhaps look at what you "do" know. If you look at yourself in the mirror, do you like that person? Is she, while not perfect, doing a pretty good job and is she the best person she can be given the circumstances?
One thing a loooong time ago that I got in to trouble here for was stating that I quite liked me and that if my W didn't, well that was just too bad. I personally don't think that we should change who we are just to be "attractive" to someone else. That's being fake in my mind. If someone doesn't like me as I am I can live with that. I believe that we should just try to accept people as they are. Don't try to change them, don't try to be something we're not and to also recognize that people do change over time.
One thing that I think that nobody will argue with is that people who are comfortable in their own skin are by their very nature attractive. So just because my W at one point mentioned that she was disappointed that I didn't like to watch sports (the guy she was seeing liked sports), I didn't become a sports fan. That isn't me. He also gave her discount pricing on yogurt - I can't do that either
I'm in a very different place than you are right now so keep that in mind when you read my advice. I used to give a lot of thought to the question of if there was anything that I could have done that could have changed the outcome. I think that my own STBX said it well when she said It's all on me.
So - maybe look at things differently as hard as that is. A lighthouse doesn't run all over the island looking for sailors to save. They stand tall on a solid foundation and they SHINE.
(((Coly23)))
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
