Hi GW - I havent posted to you but followed your story for a while.
It sure does stink that you are facing all of the consequences of this fiasco your WW created - not only your family and emotions, but now your finances and career are affected.
Take it for what its worth, but what's done is done and you obviously know you have to fix some of this mess even though it isnt fair. But what you dont need to do is continue to let her cause all of this distraction and destruction, like directing her anger about her lovers spat at you. You are so mired in this drama on an hour to hour basis. I have some experience in this and have seen this very situation go on for decades. I think if you can step back and observe the situation clearly, you will understand that none of this soap opera dialog matters and nothing is going change because you are watching it.
I really hope that you can truly detach from this nonsense and regroup for you and your kids. I am worried about your motivation for focusing only on the bankruptcy before any consideration of divorce (or any consequences for her, really). And also your concern over your WW's finances should you separate. That's really not your concern. I dont know enough obviously to know what is best in your situation, but whichever way this goes -divorce or reconciliation- you should understand that you are best served by being in the strongest possible position in terms of kids, finances and emotional health. I suggest that you focus on making sure that you are not willingly doing anything to facilitate your WW continuing in the status quo, nor doing anything to soften her landing from her own choices if it is at your expense.
I have yet to work with a guy that looked back and wished they had waited longer, or had been nicer to their WW in their divorce.
