Strange things have been going on the past few days. I try not to read anything into them at all, just wanted to jot them down to get some possible insight. I have been GAL, keeping up the 180's, and working on detachment. Here are the things that have been going on-
- As stated previously, she was asked to leave Girl Scouts due to the A. -Wife's work has big dinners for people's birthdays - they did nothing for hers, said it hurt her feelings, which it probably did. Her co workers are extremely religious and know about the A. Prior to the A, they loved being around her and doing things with her.
-OM did not send her an expected gift, nor posted anything regarding her birthday
-WW has been snippy, and moody for the past few days
- Due to issues surrounding her A, I was demoted at work one grade because my personal life had interfered with my professional life. I had taken time off due to emotional issues, and as a Lieutenant i was not giving 100 percent because of the issues i was having dealing with the A
-OM had a call from his ex regarding a message i sent to her 2 months ago, before joining DB. She called him last week and he called WW last night to complain about it.
-WW texted me while i was on break and read the riot act, stating that our issues were not due to him, to leave him alone and not blame him, that it was not a competition and he was not winning.
She went on to say that she didn't want hatred, but if i tried to force her to R there may be ( I have not mentioned anything to do with the MR, OM, or R in some time) She continued by saying that in her current state of mind, and with everything that happened and is happening, she had no interest in R at this time.( Still, no mention by me of any of this). She said she felt dead inside and it was hard to come back from that. She said she had no faith in trying.
- Om has not called or facetimed in two days
-WW has spent the last two nights going to bed crying, according to our children. I had no idea, as I have been on duty the past two nights.
I can only speculate, but it sounds as if WW and OM are having significant issues and may possibly be breaking up, and she is blaming me for it. I plan on spending as much time out of the house and away from her as possible during this time. She seems to have fixated her anger on me for some reason, possibly blaming me for the breakup.
Again, I have not mentioned anything to her about the MR, R, OM, or us.....
You are Definitely focussing way too much on her. GAL cannot be merely a tactic to get noticed by your w, but a way for YOU to detach.
Back off. Read nothing into anything. Don't interview her about her feelings.
(Why do you know it has been 2 days since they have facetimed?)
I know you say your work performance is A related, and I get it. It's incredibly distracting and painful. Some people can throw themselves into their work and I envy them.
Bottom line, we control how WE behave.
In your narrative, every thing bad in your life is your w's fault or OM's.
Take back your power. Giving your power away is one of the underlying themes in your situation.
FTR, I wish people who want to expose A's to 3rd parties, to "show them the consequences", could see how counter productive it is if the goal is reconciliation.
or if the goal is a good co-parenting relationship...this post of yours is a good example of how it backfires.
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M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
