Pool lessons

[Zues126]

Thanks Jelly! I'm pretty isolated out here so thanks for letting me blather about it here. Normally I would have a road partner but that wasn't meant to be this season.

I play again in one hour. I play a regional player that is good but not rated quite as high as me. If I win I play a well known player who is about my speed but a bit more experienced. If I win again I will play the winner of another B bracket, the toughest of which is a former world champion (who I actually beat a few years ago in this event). That would be a $2,000 set to get into the money.

I want it so bad and my nerves are back again. I just took a nap because the people next door had an alarm that set for 6AM that they hit 'snooze' on for like 90 minutes and it kept waking me up this morning. I listened to my personalized hypnosis mp3 which allowed me to restore my energy. But I’m drawing short breaths.

I watched a few matches on the B side, one last night, one today. Both matches players dogged it (choked) back and forth. I’m excited to think my opponent might dog it to me as well. But I’m nervous that I might, too, dog it back. And I’m nervous that maybe he’ll play jam up (good) and it will be way, way tougher than I’m thinking. And I’m nervous that I’m nervous, and panicked that I'm so weak that all it takes is one player that is a ball under my speed (slightly beneath) and suddenly I just want the win and the money.

So then I get mad at myself, because seriously, that’s not why I came out here. I’ll never be the player I want to be if I start hoping it’s easy. I’m supposed to be here to fight hard matches and play my best.

What I’m rediscovering is that a player that you’re supposed to beat can be as tough as a player you aren’t supposed to beat. This ain’t like a local tournament where the skill edge is decisive. These guys can all play. There WILL be times they play great and knock you out. There WILL be times you dog it to them. That comes with competition.
What do I really want? Of course I want to let go of these things. I want to play my best. More accurately, I want to play unencumbered by the nerves that come from this. Even more accurately I want to enjoy the nerves because this is what it means to be in competition. My head is spinning a little trying to figure it out.

Taking a different tack, here are today’s Ninja’s:

The favorite ninja:
How to spot: Pressure coming from expectations due to paper rankings. You’re supposed to beat this guy. If you can’t beat this guy then that’s pretty bad. You’re supposed to be trying to beat better players, not losing to mediocre players. You’d have to dog it pretty bad to lose this one. Don’t be a chicken [censored] choker and dog it off to this guy. That would be embarrassing.
Defense: The fact that I’m thinking these thoughts proves that this is a very difficult match. It’s difficult for different reasons, but just as challenging as any set I’ve played. I’m not here to win, nor even to play my best. I know the player I want to be and I don’t get there by having opponents dog it to me, I get there by locking that picture in my mind and embracing every opportunity to strive towards it.

The hopeless ninja:
How to spot: Feeling sapped of energy because your prospects are so slim. You’re in bad shape. Even if you win this match you’d have to beat two more champions before you get in the money. It’s just a matter of time before you get eliminated. It’s probably not happening.
Defense: I didn’t come here to get in the money. I didn’t come to play a set in the future. I came to play this very set. Whatever happens in the tournament, this set here and now is my greatest challenge. The player I want to be fights hardest when it looks hopeless because he knows feelings can change when he keeps pushing. I’m going to push until they eliminate me then I’m going to leave cat’s claw marks on the table because they’re going to have to drag me away as I keep trying to fight.

Well, ready or not here I come. Match kicks off in 45 minutes. If I get suited up and down to the tournament room now I'll have 30 minutes. Hopefully there are some tables open I can warm up on. If not I'll watch matches and try to start thinking pool. Mental gymnastics aside it still matters what you do on the table and you have to be ready hit those balls. I'll catch you all later.