In law school we were trained to make our points AND to respond to what the other lawyers or witnesses said.
The ability to respond to what is actually said, requires listening in an active way.
In negotiations we had to find common ground and listen for what motivated each party. Finding common ground helps to narrow down what is in dispute, not hammer it to make sure we get every single item, - which is so unlikely, it prolongs most disputes. That's where fighting to win everything ends up costing most parties, more.
We cannot just wait to blurt out our next point, (though you might not know that from what we see on TV).
If you could force yourself to recap what she says to you, (& ponder it) you'll know you heard it correctly and she will know you cared enough to listen.
THEN TAKE IT In and see if there's common ground, rather than seeing her as someone to be convinced.
She's not the jury, and you're not just trying to "win", right?
make sense?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
