So, upon reading another post on this site and the response form Sandi I have now realized that I have nice guy syndrome! I have suspected this for a few months now, guess I was in denial. Attempting to educate myself as to my faults in my M I came across a book on NGS, not only did I have a couple symptoms I had all of them!
It's not surprising, most of the guys that end up here have NGS. I think it's because 1) we really are nice so we want to save our marriages and thus we end up here and 2) part of NGS is passive/ aggressive tendencies which drives our wives away over the years and lands us in these situations. You mentioned a book, is it No More Mister Nice Guy? If not then do get that one too, it was my roadmap to recovering from NGS.
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This happened all the time, I avoided all conflict with her and usually lashed out and tried to manipulate her and my kids to get a result that I wanted. I did not do this intentionally, it's just how I was and still am.
Well the good news is this- as nice guys we really do want to do the right thing, and a lot of our negative behavior is because we don't know better. Our intentions are good, but our methods are not. But once we learn that what we're doing is wrong and hurtful, well it's not that hard for us to rewire ourselves and change our behavior.
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With that, where do I go from here?
Read NMMNG and work on the exercises in it. Be conscious of what you say and do at all times. STOP all passive/aggressive behavior. Say what you mean. Don't be afraid to ask for what you want. Be direct. Get ready to be surprised, you'll find people respect you much more and women will find you more attractive. There's really no downside!
